Guest post by Ree Ree.
ReeRee is a video gamer, nerd and an entrepreneurial spirit. She has heard all the questions and received pressure about being childfree but she enjoys the finer things in life with her husband and enjoys traveling yearly.
You know the story, there have been countless movies and tv shows with the teen mum storyline. You might know one or two from high school or maybe it was even you. Usually around 16 or 17 years old, she falls pregnant and she is now branded as the stereotypical teen mum. Her life has gone from being a young adult and learning who she is to a large dose of reality and adulthood. Now her life is forever changed if she chooses so…
The girl that lived next door was a year younger than me, we talked often but we had different social circles because we went to different schools. When she found out she was pregnant, her life was now 100% about the baby and you wouldn’t blame her for it. She dropped out of school and tried to find a job that would hire a pregnant teen. She was fortunate because she had the support of her family, they converted the guest room into the baby’s room. The father was trying to be involved, they were in love. The baby wasn’t planned but everyone was making the best of it.
My name is ReeRee (well, not really but that’s my nickname) and like the girl next door, I fell in love while I was in high school. My boyfriend at the time was older, he already finished school, we had met at the local dance class. It was the classic boy meets girl story, he was charming and good looking, and I fell head over heels. A situation arose where my boyfriend and parents weren’t getting along just before the HSC and I moved out of home and lived with my sister for a small period of time. By this time, we had been dating for 2 years, you could say we were in a serious relationship. Next thing I knew I was pregnant; the condom had broken. He didn’t tell me when it happened, he told me after I found out I was pregnant and confronted him.
Having kids was always the plan when I was growing up, I even had a name picked out for a very long time if I was ever to have a girl. I never in my wildest imagination thought I would be confronted with this situation at such a young age. I started to do the pros and cons in my mind because my brain must do the analytics. I couldn’t financially support a baby and I wouldn’t have the support of my family because of their old school background. I had “the talk” with my boyfriend and he didn’t want to have a bar of it, basically, he bailed, so I was on my own. I would be a single teen mum, with no money, no job and I had to move out of my sister’s house.
Having to decide between having a baby and having an abortion is obviously not a decision to take lightly, especially when you are already pregnant. When you have a baby, you are putting yourself second, the baby becomes first in all circumstances and you must support them no matter what. You must be selfless, and you should consider what situation you are in and how that would affect the baby. Then look at the financial side, can you ensure there is enough money so that the baby has at least the basics? How are you going to pay for childcare while you go to work? There are a lot of people that rely on government payments but what if the government doesn’t give you money when you really need it? What will you do then?
You think it would be quick and easy to decide while you are sitting at home reading this post, but when you are living through it, it’s heartbreakingly long and agonizing. You are at an intersection of your life, you look up at this big street sign and pointing to the left it says, “single teen mum” and pointing to the right it says “abortion” These are two completely different lives to lead. I couldn’t guarantee that I could provide for the baby, I couldn’t put a roof over the baby’s head, I could not support this baby, I didn’t even know if I wanted to have kids let alone what I wanted to do with my life. I had to admit to myself that I was not strong enough to be a single teen mum and that I was not in the right situation to have this baby, I didn’t know where I was going to live, I couldn’t responsibly put a baby through that.
I was 8 weeks pregnant when I had the abortion and it was the hardest day of my life (to that date). I knew I was making the right decision but that doesn’t make it emotionless or less difficult. I was emotional and anxious, but the doctors walked me through exactly what was going to happen, explained the risks, side effects, what to expect and put me at ease. The abortion I had is known as a medical abortion (as opposed to a surgical abortion) the first medication called mifepristone was given at the clinic and I was given the 2nd medication called misoprostol to take the next day. I left the clinic, went home that afternoon and cried myself to sleep that night.
Since that day, I have never once regretted making that decision. It was a difficult decision I had to make and sometimes we must make difficult decisions in our lives, but I will not live a life of regret or live a life that someone else forces me to live. I always thought that I would eventually end up having children. I am now happily married, we decided before we got married that we would not have children and we are living our happily ever after.
In 2019 having children is a choice.
Abortion is obviously a sensitive topic, especially in Australia these days regarding late-term abortion. Please know that this is not an easy topic for everyone to discuss and every case is different.
You can find Ree Ree on Instagram at @reeereeee