I don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day. For one big reason – I am not a mother, by choice.
Oh no, there you go, I just voiced the unthinkable. I DO NOT WANT KIDS. No, I am not a horrible child-hating, selfish, sad, regretful woman. I am quite the opposite and not wanting kids doesn’t make me a bad person.
Mother’s Day is celebrated every year around the world as a thank you to all that our mums do or have done for us. I too love my mum and I’ve never had an issue with celebrating Mother’s Day (Plus I always enjoy a good celebration).
However, not every woman is a mother and not everyone wants to celebrate Mother’s Day. I am childfree by choice. I have three beautiful furkids, however, they are not recognised by society as ‘real children’. Which is odd since if I wasn’t married but had a partner, I am pretty sure he/she would still be considered my partner just because we didn’t have a marriage certificate. Lucky I don’t care what society thinks….
Motherhood is still held up as the holy grail of womanhood to this day which I still cannot comprehend why. Women are like diamonds – we have some many sides to us that make us who we are – mother is just one of them.
If you choose to be a mum, then that is fine by me. I am all about choice. But not everyone wants to be a mum. In fact, close to 1 in 4 women are choosing not to have children. There are many reasons for that, each very personal and all valid.
What I cannot handle is mothers thinking they are superior to me. News Flash: Women who are mothers are not superior to women who are non-mothers. You are not better than me, you have simply made a different life choice to me.
As a childfree woman, I respect your choice to be a mother, as you should mine but there are certain things that are not acceptable for you to say.
This Mother’s Day I want to express my top 3 things that mothers should NOT say to non- mothers…
1. What would you know about being mother?
We might not have given birth, but women are nurturers by nature and our life experience and different perspective can bring a lot of value to you and your kids. As a Rockstar Aunty I can have conversations with my nieces and nephews that they cannot have with their parents. I am removed from their day to day lives and having non-mums in your child’s life is super valuable for both you and kids.
2. You’ll never know true love until you have a child
Seriously! WTF! True love comes in many forms not just by popping out a baby. That is one of the most ridiculous statements I have heard and is just a way to make mothers feel more superior. I experience true love with my husband, my furkids (which I treat and love just like you do your kids), my family, my friends. Love is love.
3. You don’t know busy – I’m the busy one
Wow, really! Being a mum, doesn’t give you exclusive rights to be being busy. The ‘busy’ excuse is one that is totally BS in life and in business. It is not being busy, it is just about priorities. You spend your time in different ways to mine and that is fine. You have different priorities. But never tell me you are busier than me because you’re a mother. I run two business, a household, have 3 furkids + pet sit on top of that, have outside commitments and like to keep in touch with my friends and family too.
So on Mother’s Day consider your non-mum friends and family and be mindful of what you say to them and the conversations you are having.