As you know, I love to share the childfree stories of women around the globe. One reason I do this is to show all childfree people that you are not alone and that everyone has a different story or reasons for being childfree.
There is no right or wrong way to live your best childfree life and it is all about making your own rules.
One woman who is certainly making her own rules is Isabel Firecracker, founder of The Uprising Spark and The Honest Uproar podcast. I asked Isabel to share her story with us.
This is where her story starts….
Tanya: Can you tell us when and how your childfree story starts
Isabel: My whole life up until I turned 34 years of age, I didn’t know that I had a choice. I thought motherhood was this thing that happened to all of us and that I too was destined to get married and have kids. I thought it was a very boring way to live my life, and I hated the idea, but I also felt it was inevitable.
But then, one day, I was telling my therapist how I felt that I was running out of time to have kids but that I wasn’t really looking forward to becoming a mother, and she looked me in the eye and said: “Isabel, you do know that you don’t HAVE to have kids, right? It is a choice, after all.”
A deep sense of relief washed over me! WHAT? I don’t have to have kids? Is that even a thing?
All it took was for somebody to point it out, to make me realize that it is indeed a choice, and I gave myself permission to make the decision that felt RIGHT for my life. I never looked back after that, and I couldn’t be happier.
Tanya: Why did you choose to be childfree?
Isabel: After I realized that I had a choice to embrace a childfree lifestyle, I knew it was a great fit for how I wanted to live my life.
I have always been a very independent person. Most of my life I have done what I wanted when I wanted to. My life is fuelled by a deep sense of FREEDOM. Some of the things that make me extremely happy are traveling the world, sleeping in, impromptu plans, quiet time, a clean and stylish home, making art, helping others (coaching clients and doing community service, for instance), and buying nice, expensive things; just to name a few.
To truly enjoy the things I am passionate about, I need plenty of time and disposable income. Kids take both time and disposable income away.
I also decided I didn’t want a child because properly raising a GOOD human being is one of the hardest, most time-consuming, dedicated tasks any person can undertake. There are no vacations, no do-overs, no days off… it’s non-stop. If a child depends on you, you better bring your A-game to properly provide a safe, clean, and loving environment for them.
Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with major depressive and generalized anxiety disorder. Most people don’t know that this illness manifests in different ways depending on the person. In my case, whenever I have an episode (which can last from a few days to months!), I feel the weight of the World on my shoulders. I lose interest in almost everything. I know that this is a time when I need to focus on getting myself back on track, it’s a time for self-care. Sometimes I can barely do this for myself, so how am I supposed to do this for another human being who depends 100% on me?
Tanya: Why did you start The Honest Uproar Podcast?
Isabel: When I discovered the childfree online community, I remember thinking, “wow, how toxic are some of these spaces?!” There is a lot of vitriol about parents and children. I also found that there is a lot of that towards other childfree people as well.
Since I couldn’t find many positive spaces, I decided to create one. I wanted The Honest Uproar Podcast to be a platform for women from different countries, backgrounds, and cultures to share their childfree stories. The idea behind this was that by sharing, these women would be able to speak their truth in a safe space; and by listening, the audience would get to hear these stories and know that it is possible to live a happy and fulfilling childfree life. Storytelling is very powerful – it connects people, and it also encourages conversations around topics that are not normally discussed.
Tanya: Who should listen to The Honest Uproar?
Isabel: My podcast targets childfree women from around the world because I believe that women are the ones that feel most pressured to reproduce. I have found that, in many cultures and communities, a woman with no kids is looked down upon, while a man without kids is not. I wanted to focus the energy of the podcast where I felt was needed the most within our community.
I think women who are mothers should also listen to The Honest Uproar. I believe it would give them a better sense of what our lifestyle looks like and they, in turn, will be able to talk openly about this subject with their own children.
Tanya: How is it different from other podcasts?
Isabel: I think my podcast is different from other podcasts because I knew from day one that I wanted to use it mainly to promote a tighter community by connecting childfree women from around the world, and I wanted to use it as a tool to help normalize the conversation about choosing to be childfree. Based on the feedback I receive from my listeners; I believe I have made a positive impact so far.
The Honest Uproar has been much more rewarding than I expected it to be. I envision my podcast becoming a lot more well-known in the future, not only within the childfree community but also by people who don’t necessarily identify as such. I want my podcast to continue spreading a positive message about the childfree lifestyle.
Tanya: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Isabel: In 5 years’ time, I see myself still enjoying my childfree life, traveling extensively (as I already do), and having a very strong and well-positioned coaching business that will allow me the flexibility to set my own schedule and to work remotely from anywhere in the world (I want to be a digital nomad!).
I see myself as happy as I can be, still inspiring people in the community to speak their truth and to stand firm as proud, and unapologetic childfree individuals.
Tanya: Anything else you want to share?
Isabel: I took a chance on myself when I decided to follow my instincts and go against everything that I had been programmed to want and wish for. It wasn’t easy at the beginning, but now I understand that making the choices towards the life that I want for myself, and not listening to society, friends, family, or peers’ opinion on what I want to achieve, was the best decision I have ever made.
I was very lucky to have had a lot of support while I was finding my footing again in this World because more than once, I found myself in a very uncomfortable place. Unfortunately, it’s not the case for everyone, and I want that to change.
I took all my experience and knowledge, paired it with other childfree women’s, and created A Childfree Woman’s Guide to Thrive in the Modern World. It’s meant to be helpful from Childfree women in any stage of their childfreedom, but mostly for the ones who are just beginning to embrace it.
You can grab your free copy HERE
To anyone reading this post: don’t be afraid to build the life that you desire, even if it means breaking some “rules” in the process!
You will find The Uprising Spark HERE
And The Honest Uproar HERE