As a childfree woman in her 40’s I have been subject to all manner of questions and comments about my choice to be childfree. Over the years I have been offended, infuriated, outraged and discussed by some of the comments I have been on the receiving end of.
What I want you to consider is what life is like as a childfree woman. When you read about some of our experiences in this book then you might consider how you will change the conversations you are having with all the women in your life, not just us childfree chicks.
Childfree women experience rude questions and dire warnings about a loveless barren future that we will regret. We are often described as strange, unnatural and selfish. You see to some, not having kids is a social faux par.
However, the same questions and comments are not asked of women who choose to have a child. Imagine the repercussion if you told a pregnant mum to be “oh you will regret that decision” or “you don’t know what you are doing or missing out on” or “wow, how selfish are you”.
Why is it ok to tell a childfree woman that she is selfish or will regret her decision but not a mum to be? How is it any different?
It is all about choices being made. Two very different choices but two very different consequences and also different levels of social acceptability. Can you imagine the backlash if I walked up to a mother and told her she was wrong about her life choice and that she would never live a fulfilled life. I would be burned at the stake (so to speak).
I am so sick of two different conversations being had with women.
This is not about mums versus’s non-mums. This about choice! We are all different. Every woman has different strengths & weaknesses so why do I have to be subjected to a different set of rules and standards, because I am childfree? That is not equality, that sounds more like bullying to me.
So perhaps consider what you are saying to the women around you. Remember your choice of words can be very hurtful, even if not meant to be. The questions we ask and the comments we make should not differ between us – it is no longer acceptable to treat childfree women any differently than someone who chose to have a child. It is time to turn the judgment & criticism into support or all women and their choices. Let’s hold each other accountable for the conversations we have with each other starting today.