I knew at a young age that I didn’t want to have children and when my husband and I decided to get married I told him I never want children and if that is something he wanted, then marriage was not going to work for us.
Fast forward 23 years and we are still happily married and we don’t have human kids. We have furkids and have a great lifestyle so I do not understand why we are judged or treated differently for our choice.
I have been asked many times by other women “why did you get married if you don’t want children?” This question always floors me! Having kids should not be the ultimate goal of getting married. I married my husband as I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Simple as that!
I wanted to share some facts with you about our childfree happily ever after
- We don’t hate kids.
We don’t hate kids but they are just not for us. My husband is really good with kids and they love him. I think it’s his inner child that they can relate to and they enjoy spending time with him and vice versa.
But we also like to get a dose of kiddie time then retreat back to our home and do whatever we want – no obligations, no responsibility – just us.
And like most people, I cannot handle screaming kids on planes, restaurants and in shopping centres however, I can appreciate them from afar.
- We are a family.
Family can be defined in many ways and my husband, our furkids and I are already a family. We don’t need to add children to be labelled as a family. I am offended when someone tells me I am missing out on family – I have one – it just looks different to yours.
I have a family I have chosen, and that includes my close friends whom I consider my family.
- We’re happy with just us two
We do not need children to fulfil us or make us happy. We are childfree by choice and very happy with it being just us. If you need children to make your marriage work, then something is not right. We have our moments and arguments like any couple. We are far from perfect, but we are happy being ‘just us two’
- We don’t understand why people question us so frequently.
I am constantly amazed at how often people ask if we’re having children. Firstly, how is it your business? And why do you care?
What I choose to do with my uterus is no one’s business and I don’t understand why other couples question or frown upon our choice to be childfree.
- Stop trying to talk us into it.
Some people just cannot accept our choice to be childfree and think they can talk us into it. I think mainly because it will make them feel more comfortable, not because it is the best thing for us. I am not interested in hearing “You’d be such good parents, you don’t know what love is until you have a child, you are missing out on so much…. Blah, blah, bullshit!
Stop trying to change our minds – you cannot!
- Our lives aren’t perfect.
We do have a great life but it is not perfect. We have chosen to travel, be fur parents, spend time with friends, experience new things, dine in nice restaurants, buy new things, give more to charity and generally just live a fulfilling and happy life. But that doesn’t mean our life is perfect. We have bills, stress, responsibilities, highs & lows like anyone else does. We are still human.
7. We are not rich
Just because we don’t have the costs associated with having children doesn’t mean we are rich. We just choose to use our money in a different way to you. You choose school fees, toys & Wiggles concerts. I choose a nice car, travel and shoes.
It is all about choice so don’t assume I am rolling in money and can afford expensive gifts for your life choice (your child).
You can live a happily childfree ever after
In my book ‘A Childfree Happily Ever After’ I explore many of these areas in more detail and so much more > Get your signed copy here or you can buy from Amazon US, UK and AU